I've got ten friends and a crowbar that says you ain't gonna do jack.

I love underoath. They are controversial among Christians but their lyrics are like pure gold. There's one song that is called "I've got ten friends and a crowbar that says you ain't gonna do jack". Sounds weird but it just reminds me of how relationships really are.

"Did you think that this was all an excuse for hospitality? I know you think its all because of me." Do we not ever think or wonder if people are friends with us because it's what's expected? Okay, maybe not so much until you're a Christian. We are nice and friendly to people because we feel like it's what we have to do or because it's what WE WANT to do. You know what I'm talking about. That's not what friendship (or love for that matter) is all about. We are so fake. I'm so fake a lot of the time. "A fake, a fraud, forked tongue and I am nervous. At least I can say I made it out this time. I'm just fine where you have left me." I try to be real. I try to love people like Jesus but I fail...a lot. I struggle with trying to cover things up once I do something wrong. Then I get angry and frustrated that people don't like the same things I do and then I get jealous when other people do like the same things as them and decide to be their friend closer than I am. It's really ridiculous and I can tell myself that as much as I want but it doesn't change how I think. My flesh and my mind trying to tell me to stop something does absolutely nothing but when I walk in the Spirit, God empowers me to do things His way...not my own. He shows me how to love like this: "This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers." That's 1 John 3:16.

Another thing is popularity. I struggled to be popular in high school, especially among my church friends. It was a constant struggle for me...wanting to be liked. It led to an immature Christian life. In high school, I never walked in true love or understanding. I wasted that four year mission field that God had given me. I wish I had not. Now, in my junior year of college, I'm still not there but I'm working on it. I've got a handful of close friends who I know would fight for me and for whom I know I would go to war. It's not about how many friends you have but the quality of those friends. Now I've got some friends of substance, of purpose, of high quality.

Jesus is my crowbar...my weapon. My friends are my phalanx, fighting beside me and pushing me forward into the battle when I'd rather retreat. That's all I need to be a mighty warrior and show the enemy a force that brings him to the place where he "ain't gonna do jack".